There isn't enough space in the Impala for him to sit up fully on his knees. Shoulders hunched, he winds up half-curled over you, one hand resting palm down over the center of your chest and the other gripping the back of the seat. It's cold enough for him to be able to see his breath fog as he pants, but he can't feel the chin. His skin feels prickly with heat and too tight.
He can't stop staring at you. You look—wrecked, Dean. You're staring at his groin, where his erection tents the front of his jeans, as if it's something startling. It makes him swallow, half turned on and half uncomfortably self-conscious. He doesn't know what you expected.
He doesn't know what he expected. Your words hit him like a physical blow. Rocking on his knees, he flinches back from them, breath coming in sharply and brow creasing in confusion.
You're not pretending.
"You—want this." The words come out slow, careful. Suspicious. This was suppose to be one night, Dean. His last night on Earth night, when he gets to have what he wants. What he never had. What he lost. He lost you. "Dean . . ." He starts to shake his head before he's aware that he's doing it. Falling backwards onto his ass, he shifts down the seat from you, towards the opposite door, putting space between them. He only stops because his spine jars hard against the arm rest; he can go no farther.
Several silent seconds stretch by as he stares at you. They're so far off the map right now that he doesn't know how to find his bearings, let alone which direction to go. He glances down, and wets his upper lip, uncomfortable with your admission. He still wants to eat a burger and go home and sleep with you in bed. He wants his last night. He doesn't want to have this conversation. But apparently they have to.
"Uh." He shakes his head again, and then digs his palm into his eye, rubbing it. He's too sober for this. "We can't—we can't have a relationship, Dean." He thought you knew that. Even if their relationship was different here, even if their pasts are different, that's still—a common fact. A universal truth. "Sorry to . . . break it to you." His voice drifts off at the end, sincerely regretful. He offers you a small, wistful half-smile. They can only have one night.
no subject
He can't stop staring at you. You look—wrecked, Dean. You're staring at his groin, where his erection tents the front of his jeans, as if it's something startling. It makes him swallow, half turned on and half uncomfortably self-conscious. He doesn't know what you expected.
He doesn't know what he expected. Your words hit him like a physical blow. Rocking on his knees, he flinches back from them, breath coming in sharply and brow creasing in confusion.
You're not pretending.
"You—want this." The words come out slow, careful. Suspicious. This was suppose to be one night, Dean. His last night on Earth night, when he gets to have what he wants. What he never had. What he lost. He lost you. "Dean . . ." He starts to shake his head before he's aware that he's doing it. Falling backwards onto his ass, he shifts down the seat from you, towards the opposite door, putting space between them. He only stops because his spine jars hard against the arm rest; he can go no farther.
Several silent seconds stretch by as he stares at you. They're so far off the map right now that he doesn't know how to find his bearings, let alone which direction to go. He glances down, and wets his upper lip, uncomfortable with your admission. He still wants to eat a burger and go home and sleep with you in bed. He wants his last night. He doesn't want to have this conversation. But apparently they have to.
"Uh." He shakes his head again, and then digs his palm into his eye, rubbing it. He's too sober for this. "We can't—we can't have a relationship, Dean." He thought you knew that. Even if their relationship was different here, even if their pasts are different, that's still—a common fact. A universal truth. "Sorry to . . . break it to you." His voice drifts off at the end, sincerely regretful. He offers you a small, wistful half-smile. They can only have one night.